Pain
by peace with the world
Summary: edward leaves and bella, or as she is become to be known as, izzy, starts singing. but beyond that, she is drinking cuttong snd doing drugs. on top off that she has to live with the cullens, who she hates. rated t for darkness, i may change it to m
1. Chapter 1

_**So Edward leaves in new moon and bellla gets mad and starts drinking cutting herself, smoking and doing drugs. The cullens return and bella hates them. Bella prefers izzy, and sings to.**_

_**Im not gonna do the whole songs btw**_

I took a deep breath, and made sure my arms were covered, but the black arm sleeves, into fingerless gloves. (gloves without the finger things) my tank top, black, showed my stomach. I had on a skirt that reached mid thigh and biker boots. I took another sip of beer, careful not to get drunk before the show.

"damn your hot girl!" mika gushed. Her and chad were my new best friends after edidiot left.

"chad… please?" I asked him. He laughed slightly.

"no drugs before a show. You came up with the rule yourself." He laughed. I glared slightly. We were in the back room of the coven, port Angeles biggest club, I had been hired to sing. I gasped slightly, as one of my cuts gave a painful throb. I pulled off the glove's and dusted my arms with makeup to civer the cutting scars.

"haha, soo funny," I finally managed to reply. I was nervous, I had always wanted this job.

"izzy, youll be great!" mika squealed. She was usually, a little less hyper, but really jacked up when she was high. It was hilarious.

"izzy swan, people!!" the anoucer yelled. I walked on stage and started singing

*incert break my heart, by Hillary duff*

Half wat through the song I saw five gorges people with topaz eyes, there mouth's open in awe. I smiled, and sanged harder and better. I finished the song and aploze broke out. I raised my arms and bowed slightly, before I started my next song.

*girl can rock, but Hillary duff* (sorry, for the duff, but I thought it matched izzy's new personality. It is my story…)

I noticed all of there eyes of my arms. It took all of my effort not to laugh. I finished girl can rock and started my next song

*come clean, again Hillary*

I sang with all my might dancing slightly.

"all right guys, heres my last song. Its called the math. Here we go," I cued the music

*insert the math, by Hillary duff*

"all right guys, ill be here again tomorrow!!" I yelled bouncing off stage. My smile was replaced by a scowl, after I left the stage.

"there here, lets go, chad, grab me a few beers from the cooler, and no you cant drive my mclauren f1." (its an awesome car, look it up)I laughed at his face, and I we walked to my car and mika's porches. I hoped in mine with chad and we sped off, mika and a Volvo right behind us.

I sped at the maximum limit, with mika, laughing as the Volvo dissapered in the back. We drove off road to out meeting spot. We got out of the car, and I gulped down the beer. We stayed there for hours drinking and shooting up.

I drove home, completely wasted and buzzed, and walked inside.

"daddy? Im gon bed," I slurred. I saw three beautiful beople and came to my sences immediately, my tired face transformed into a horrible scowl.

"what are you doing here." I growled.

"we need to talk to you," Carlisle said.

"no." I said turning to leave. Alice was right there a sad look on her face.

"rose took care of your car," Edward said from behind me.

"im going to bed!" I said,

"no, Isabella, come here." Charlie spoke up. I was livid, but went and sat on the couch, arms crossed.

"bella," Edward sighed,

"I am NOT bella. Im izzy. Deal." I hissed.

"izzy, we need to talk to you about your habbits," Carlisle said. "they could hurt you badly, so yur dad and I came up with a solution." He said. I gulped

"your letting them come back into my life and take it over?" i asked charlie. He looked at the ground.

"he called us." Edward said gently.

"what ever," I said lividly.

"our solution is, your coming to live with us." Alice yelled happily "were gone be roomies!" she said.

"hell no!" I yelled standimg up. "there is no way im gonna live with the jack ass and his family!" I said glaring at Edward.

"I HATE YOU DAD!" I yelled at him, I ran from the house, quickly (bella is all athletic, she started working out after Edward left) I hadn't realized I had grabbed Charlie's cruiser keys, and was speeding away, until I reached jake's house sobbing. He ran out and held me as I was crying.

"izzy, shh, what is it, shh," he comforted.

"Charlie, *sob*, is,* gasp* is sending me to live with *sniffle* the cullens!" I yelled. Jake just held me until I had cried my delf to sleep.

!!

I woke up in a huge confortable bed. I woke up and gasped, realizing I was at the cullens. The closet was open, revealing all of my clothes and asseseries. The rest of my room was decorated dark blue and black, with my stuff and new stuff scattered around it. I saw my car keys on my dresser, and smiled slightly. Thank you Charlie, he knew my love for my baby.

I them realized, he had shipped me off while I was asleep. I screamed in rage and the door opened revealing alice jasper Emmett and Edward.

"bella?" Edward asked,

"I am not bell im izzy jack ass!" I yelled. He looked sad.

"wanna go shopping? Then we can do makeovers!" alice squeeled.

"NO! and if you think, you are replacing any of my clothes, think again. I will burn your closet." I hissed. Then I suddenly felt calm. "JASPER! STOP SCREWING WITH MY EMOTIONS!" I yelled. The calm went away.

"bell- izzy. Your different." Emmett stated.

"no, some idiot vampires leave me heart broken, then they come back, Charlie ships me off, and the vampires arnt happy with me? God you are the dimmest people I have ever met! Go away!" I yelled. I proceded to grab the closest thing to be, a glass of water. And throw it at them.

My aim had inproved to it hit Edward where he was standing with the others in shock.

"I hate you all! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO!" I yelled. Nobody moved so I grabbed my car keys, and pushed past them, running away. I was at the door when the house recovered, but then it was to late. I had alreadt gotten in my car and was driving away, when I saw them run out of the house. I was pussing two hundred, getting out of forks.

I was somewhere, like maybe Utah, when I pulled to stop.i smiked the weed inside my car, and got completely buzzed.

I pulled into a four star hotel, and walked inside. I tried something.

"Cullen,"I said to the woman there. She handed me a room key, and I walked to my room completely unaware, the cullens knew where to find me. I fell asleep quickly.

I woke up slightly to strong arms lifting me. I immediately thought chad and fell back asleep.

!!

I woke up in a large car, with a blanket tucked around me. It was a jeep. I blinked in confussion until I saw Emmett.

"WHAT THE HELL EMMETT!" I struggled with the straps for a while, while he looked ahead, a frown on his face.

"why am I in your jeep? I asked slowly.

"a human girl runs away to Utah after her dad places her in the care of us. Wow you are dim." He spat.

"at least I didn't leave the vampire heatbroken, and dead inside, having nightmares everynight, and losing her friends until my two best friends came and helped me!" I yelled back

"HELP?!? What they did was not help. Bella izzy,you gt high and cut your self. You even drink! That isn't help!"

"how would you know? Did the love of your life leave you saying that you wenrt good enough for him?"I said. he didn't respond. I sat there with a smirk on my face. After another hour we pulled up bak to the big white house. Emmett unbuckled me and I stormed up to my room. my keys were back on my dresser with a not attached

**Izzy,**

**Don't drive away again or well take your car.**

**Im sorry that its resorted to this,**

**Love,**

**Esme and Carlisle**

I snorted in distaste and collapsed on my bed. I shot back up and ran down the hall was running straight into Carlisle.

"where are you going?" he asked eying my keys

"my show! Im going to be late! I hissed. His eyes narrowed but he let me past. I sped to my show and changed into my outfit, black booty shorts, black flats, a blue tank top, and fingerless gloves I ran onstage after my announcement, and took a deep breath.

"this show is about some people who just came unwontedly back into my life," I announced

*the getaway, duff*

*mr james dean duff*

*holding out for a hero frou frou*

*fifteen taylor swift*

"thank you!" I said walking off stage. I smiled as I saw mika and chad.

"Im living with the cullens!" I hissed. Chad instantly helped me shoot up, and we drank away my sorrows, In the back room.

"my kas," I looked around for my keys, but I couldn't find them I walked out of the club and onto the street, waiting for alice. What I wasn't expecting, was the car that hit me.


	2. final of this story must read

Ok, im really sorry, but if someone doesn't adopt this, im redoing it as bella being a vampire rocker. It makes it less melodramatic, and more fun to write.

So pm if you want to adopt, and if not, review if you like my new idea. Either way, this story is gonna disappear!!

Ill give it a week, cause im starting my new chapter now, for the new version of pain.

latah


	3. sorry, i dont sign autographs

**Ok, heres my new version. Tell my if its better, but bella isn't a vampire rocker like I planed, but itll all pan out. **

I pulled up my elbow length gloves, and made sure they wouldn't fall down. They were black and without fingers. Other than that I wore a white skin thought shirt with a short sleeved jacket in black. Also black skinny jeans and knee high black leather boots.

"you look nice, girl" crowed chad, the drummer of our band PAIN.

"I agree," mika laughed. She played key board. I was lead singer and guitarist.

"thanks, you guys look good to!" I said smiling. "Lets do rock, then clean, then… party? Okay?" I asked

"deal!" chad yelled. He reminded me of Emmett at times, but he was like a emo Emmett. After all chad introduced me to the beautiful art of cutting.

We walked onto the stage to cheering. The bright lights blinded me, and I felt like I always did when we walked onto the stage, like I was floating on a cloud nine.

"HELLO CLUB 21! Im bella, the lead singer of PAIN and we have a great line up for ya' all!" I shouted

I started playing the chordes to girl can rock (sorry for the hilart duff, but it works)

**"Girl Can Rock"**

Hey!

Ready for the big time, ready for the small  
Whatever's comin' to me, I'll be ready for it all  
Sometimes it ain't easy, sometimes its not polite  
Some days I don't get it, some days I get it right

_[Chorus:]_  
It's in my heart, it's in my head  
Thats what i said

Hey Boys are you ready for the shock  
I'm living proof, the girls can rock  
Spread the news around every single block  
Hey boys, the girl can rock

Standin' in the spotlight workin' up a sweat  
Givin' all i got and lovin' what i get  
I can't hold back what i feel inside  
and if i make you nervous, you better step aside

_[Chorus]_

The girl can rock  
Don't say maybe or call me 'baby'  
I ain't crazy at all

_[Chorus 2x]_

I'm gonna live it up  
I'll never give it up  
I'm gonna spread the news around the block  
It ain't no shock...the girl can rock _[3x]_

Yeah, Rock!

The crowd was going crazy and I could of sworn I herd Emmett cheer "go bella!" but then again I was imagining a lot of things

I gave my guitar to paul, he played the little guitar parts to this song.

(Come clean- Hillary duff)

Let's go back  
Back to the beginning  
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned

'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect  
Trying to fit a square into a circle  
Was no life  
I defy

_[Chorus:]_  
Let the rain fall down  
And wake my dreams  
Let it wash away  
My sanity  
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder  
I wanna scream  
Let the rain fall down  
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean

I'm shedding  
Shedding every color  
Trying to find a pigment of truth  
Beneath my skin

'Cause different  
Doesn't feel so different  
And going out is better  
Then always staying in  
Feel the wind

_[Chorus]_

I'm coming clean  
Let the rain fall  
Let the rain fall  
I'm coming...

_[Chorus x2]_

Let's go back  
Back to the beginning

The crowed went wildafter this one. I personally think they liked the voice edit in the middle where my voice goes robot ish. Then I saw them. The cullens. I froze then smiled.

"guys were doing math!

"One more song guys! This one is dedicated to someone who helped me through a lot, my very good friend, chad!!" I yelled watching in satisfaction when Edwards face went crazy and jasped got a constipated look on his face. I took my guitar back for this song,

**(The Math Hilary duff)**

You're always trying to figure out  
What I am all about  
If you don't know what the answer is  
Then just shut up and kiss

It shouldn't take forever  
To put it all together

_[CHORUS:]_  
If you can't do the math  
Then get out of the equation  
I am calling you back  
This is star 69

Is it a minus or a plus  
Does enough equal enough  
If you can't do the math  
Then nothing adds up  
Tell me why I'm here

Sure I want someone to understand  
But I don't need the stress  
I'm not about being analyzed  
Like it's some kind of test

Don't have to be a genius  
To figure what's between us

_[CHORUS]_

You can spend your whole life analyzing  
Justifying, quantifying, and dividing  
'Till there's nothing anymore  
Why don't you just close your eyes  
And kiss my lips and let it go  
Just let it flow  
It's what I'm waiting for

Don't have to be a genius  
To figure what's between us

_[CHORUS 2X]_

The song ended and I walked back to chad and kissed him on the lips, smiling in glee as I did so.

"thank you all! Well be here tomorrow night as well!"I yelled to the cheering crowd.

We walked off stage and onto the back room where our stuff was located. Since Charlie and Renée had died I lived in an orphanage until I was eighteen, but they let me out at nights, since I was almost eighteen.

"bella!" I herd alice chirp before small thin arms hugged me from behind.

"excuse me please let go of me. we don't do autographs." I said coolly.

"ohmigoshivemissedyou! I cant wait for shopping and makeovers and" she went on

"EXCUSE ME! I don't do shopping with fans. If you want autographs youll have to wait until tomorrow with the rest of the people!" I yelled at alice, not caring about her hurt face. I face the rest of the family.

"if you'll excuse me I have to get back to the home." I said coolly. I grabbed the keys to my Ducati. "bye mika! Ill see you at school! And bye you," I said kissing chad. "bye pain!" I said my usual good bye to my band. I walked outside aware of the Cullen family watching me.

I got on my motorcycle pushing the keys into the engine.

"you cant be serious? Where is a helmet?" I edward yell as I tore out of there, and back the the orphanage. I was going about two hundred when I saw a bmw gain on me. I knew who it was so I speed up and into the parking lot of the home. I pulled my keys out and walked inside.

"hey candy, im in," I said as I walked to my room. I threw my keys onto my dresser and collapsed into my bed. I sighed and layed there for a few minutes before I sat back up and changed into my pajamas. I didn't dare look

at myself . I was disgusted that I had lived, and I had the scars to prove it.

It wasn't fair that Charlie and renee had died and I lived. My chest ached and I immediately pulled out my razor and slid it across my arm savoring the feeling. I washed my arm off and crawled into bed, falling asleep immediately

HAHAHA! I UPDATED! I WIN! review if you like the new!


	4. their back

**I'm totally awful. I know. But at least I'm finally writing? Yes?**

I groggily awoke to the sound of drums then lady gaga's voice as she declared "there aint no reason you and me should be alone tonight-"I cut off edge of glory as I slammed my hand down on my ihome though, (usually I listened to the whole song. ) but the sight before me pissed me off so badly, that if I was a cartoon, steam would be streaming out of my ears.

There stood alice, going through my room, throwing clothes out of my closet, a look of disdain written clearly on her face.

"OH mygod, your taste in clothes is worse than before! Geesh, we need to get some pink on you PRONTO. And seriously bells, you know Edward hated even the idea of highlighting your hair with some blonde, so why did you even dye it? Edward is pissed. You REALLY need to start listening to him. And to me too. We know much more then you so-" alice ranted before I cut her off.

"excuse me?" I interrupted cooly. "I am not a doll you can control and really-"

Alice interrupted "shush, silly. We know much better than you ever do. And really? A motorcycle, you know how Edward- "

"GET OUT!" I screamed. "OUT!OUT!OUT!" you don't rule my life anymore so get out!"

Alice looked miffed "I see you've gained some independence. That can be easily fixed." She sniffed before jumping out my window. I shrieked at it.

I mumbled to my self curing the cullend why I showered, I was so angry I cut twice as much while I was in there, blood driping steadily off my arm as I stared at it.

I got out of the shower and put on black leather pants that looked like they were sown onto my ass and, a tight red halter. A black leather jacket and black fingerless gloves, along with six inch heel black boots finished the ensemble. I stomped down stairs to grab a granola bar when little Lela ran up and grabbed my legs.

"izzzyyyyy, guess what? I lossted a tooth! And the tooth fairy camed! I gotr a whole quateerrr!"

"that's epic sweetie! But I gotta go to school! Gimme a hug, Kay hun?" we hugged and I kissed her forehead and went outside. I climed on my bike, ignoring the angry face in the silver shiny Volvo.

I pulled into school, and climbed off my bike, when someone grabbed my arm.

"what to hell are you doing bella!" it was Edward.

"its izzy ass hole!"

"Bella, don't cuss. And what are you wearing! I will not allowing it! And the bike! I will dispose of it tonight, love, and this singing thing? Just cancel it. Other guys can't look at you like that. Not go with Alice and put on the clothes she brought you. And we WILL be discussing your behavior and you will be punished."

"excuse me? I will not stop cussing, assward, I will wear what I want dickwad! My bike? Touch it and die. And if you even try to punish me I will light your ass on fire. GO AWAY!" I screamed. His grip on my arm tightened on my arm. "LET GO! YOUR HURTING ME!"

He dragged me across the parking lot, squeezing my arm tighter and tighter him and the rest of the student body ignoring yam cries for him to stop and for help. As soon as we past the here line, he started running , my body flying behind him, as he never bothered to pick me up. he threw me to ground after he finally stopped running.

I stood up ignoring the pain in my body. "what the hell- dick wa-" before I could finish the statement, a blinding pain erupted on my check and I was on the feet a few feet away. I took me a minute to realize Edward had backhanded me.

"you cant do that!" I cried out.

He laughed a cold laugh. "yes I can because your mine." He kicked me a few times, when I tried to scramble away. "I can also do this-" Edward started to unzip his jeans, while I stayed unmoving o nthe ground sobbing. The last thing I saw before I blacked out from the pain was a yellow blur smash into Edward.

**I updated? I decided to finish this story cause it by far has the most reviews. Yay!**


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